Let's Tango

I always thought life was going to be easy for me. I'm not sure where I got this notion, but somewhere between my terrifying days in middle school, adventures in high school, and my first year in college, I realized that I could usually manipulate a situation for my benefit. So I did that... a lot. I used my bubbly personality and big smile to fend off due dates, meetings, and concerned parents. I danced around questions when asked what I was actually doing or working on. I didn't realize how much I actually lied about my life until recently when my work ethic caught up with me and I failed out of college.

I know what you're thinking, "Sierra! You're so smart! How could this happen??" I know. I'm still asking myself the same thing. What isn't clicking with me and school? Why don't I stick to my color-coded calendar and actually do the work my family pays thousands of dollars for? Why couldn't I admit to anyone that I was so unhappy and completely lack direction? What the hell am I doing with my life?

That is exactly what I'm trying to figure out. I have no idea how to move forward -- I have no idea what I want to do or how to do it-- but I do know that I don't want to move backwards. I want to keep things simple and growing (dum-dun-chhhhh). For now that means living in Columbia, working my butt off, and trying to find a real passion for something. I enjoy doing a lot of things, but I want to find something that not only sparks and keeps my interest, but something that uses me as a vessel and cultivates God's kingdom on Earth. I have an overwhelming amount of possibilities at my disposal.

I'm also blessed to have family and friends that still love and support me even though they might not agree with my decision not to return to Mizzou next semester. I really do appreciate all the encouragement I've received, more than words can say. I'd like to use this blog as a way to express that gratitude and do something tangible with my efforts. A lot of people seemed to like my writing in the past as well and I haven't really written in ages so I think it's time for me to have healthy outlet for all the words bouncing around my brain. I'm not promising to write on a schedule or even always explain things fully, but I do guarantee that you can keep up with my whirls in adulthood here. Let's boogie, y'all.